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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
THE EAGERLY AWAITED COLLECTION OF PERSONAL ESSAYS FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF MY HORIZONTAL LIFE

When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today..
Price: $14.88 [Notify me when price goes down.]



I Hate Your Guts
When New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire...

What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin.

In thirty-five hilarious essays, New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news.

But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series.

Uncomfortably honest, I Hate Your Guts is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers.

Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard.

Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off.

For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, I Hate Your Guts is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit..
Price: $15.22 [Notify me when price goes down.]



sTORI Telling

Tori Spelling Reads Her Fabulous #1 New York Times Bestseller

She was television's most famous virgin -- and, as Aaron Spelling's daughter, arguably its most famous case of nepotism Portraying Donna Martin of Beverly Hills 90210, Tori Spelling became one of the most recognizable young actresses of her generation, with a not-so-private personal life every bit as fascinating as her character's exploits. Yet years later the name Tori Spelling too often closed -- and sometimes slammed -- the same doors it had opened.

sTORI telling is Tori's chance to finally tell her side of the tabloid-worthy life she's led, and she talks about it all: her decadent childhood birthday parties, her nose job, her fairy-tale wedding to the wrong man, her so-called feud with her mother. Tori has already revealed her flair for brilliant, self-effacing satire on her VH1 show So NoTORIous and Oxygen's Tori & Dean: Inn Love, but her memoir goes deeper, into the real life behind the rumors: her complicated relationship with her parents; her struggles as an actress after 90210; her accident-prone love life; and, ultimately, her quest to define herself on her own terms.

From her over-the-top first wedding to finding new love to her much-publicized -- and misunderstood -- "disinheritance," sTORI telling is a juicy, eye-opening, enthralling look at what it really means to be Tori Spelling..
Price: $13.94 [Notify me when price goes down.]



Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else

Clinton Kelly won't just revamp your wardrobe -- he'll revamp your life!

The huddled masses yearn to be fabulous, and finally Clinton Kelly is heeding their call. As co-host of TLC's popular What Not to Wear, he regularly transforms dumpy fashion disasters into traffic-stopping, get-an-instant-promotion, reignite-the-passion-in-that-relationship makeovers. But fabulousness doesn't stop with style. Let's face it: you might look good, but if you're chomping on that crudité with your mouth wide open, nobody at the party will talk to you -- even if you can explain to them what crudité actually is.

Of course, the keys to being better than everyone else aren't always so obvious. Don't worry; Clinton's here to help.

  • How do you make a flat butt look big and a big butt look flat?
  • What's the one trick that will slim down your entire silhouette and make your ta-tas look va-va-voom?
  • How do you eat an oyster without getting kicked out of the best restaurant in town?
  • What's the grammatically correct form of "lay" to use when propositioning a Baldwin brother?

He'll teach you how to look your best, sound your smartest, use the manners your momma taught you, poach an egg, fix a perfect gin and tonic, throw the most popular parties (and top the guest list at other soirees), make your home the envy of your neighbors, and generally be the fabulous person you always knew you could be.

From the three style criteria he uses to dress any shape for any occasion, to his eloquent approach to appreciation, to his four must-memorize recipes for whipping up a last-minute meal, Clinton Kelly shares it all in Freakin' Fabulous..
Price: $15.29 [Notify me when price goes down.]



The Big-Ass Book of Crafts
The Big-Ass Book of Crafts is packed with ideas for sprucing up your living space; concocting fabulous, all-natural body products; designing your own unique stationery; and creating countless other crafts that will convince your friends and loved ones that you're the secret love child of Martha Stewart (only much, much cooler).

Forget crocheted doilies and itchy knit sweaters -- TLC's While You Were Out top designer Mark Montano has created stylish and imaginative projects that range from a Warhol-esque Ultrasuede iPod case to photo-adorned boxer shorts to African mask patio chairs to wooden night-light boxes. Divided into sections that include Outdoorsy (ideas to enhance your backyard), Dishing It Out (decorating plates using different techniques), You've Been Framed (innovative picture framing ideas), and Can I Have a Light? (creating and decorating lamps, lanterns, and chandeliers), it's as entertaining to read as it is endlessly inspiring. With more than one hundred and fifty inventive and fun projects, The Big-Ass Book of Crafts is the perfect activity book for readers of every mood, budget, and skill level..
Price: $12.39 [Notify me when price goes down.]



He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (The Newly Expanded Edition)
For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.

He's afraid to get hurt again.

Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship

Maybe he's intimidated by me.

He just got out of a relationship.

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.

The truth may be He's just not that into you.

Unfortunately, guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman "You're not the one." But their actions absolutely show how they feel.

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU -- based on a popular episode of Sex and the City -- educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mind-sets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you."

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe He's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is..
Price: $9.45 [Notify me when price goes down.]



Good Night Blue (Blues Clues)

Look for additional Blue's Clues books -- board books, sticker books, and more!.
Price: $3.61 [Notify me when price goes down.]



Good Night, Dora!: A Lift-the-Flap Story
Shh...It's almost bedtime, and Dora and Boots are heading home. Along the way they hear some animal sounds. Who's making them? Readers can lift the flaps to find out -- and learn to say good night, just like Dora..
Price: $2.27 [Notify me when price goes down.]


Dora's Book of Manners (Dora the Explorer)
The Grumpy Old Troll was mean to his friend Mouse -- and now he needs help from Dora and Boots for Mouse to forgive him. But what should he say? Join Dora and Boots as they help the Troll, and learn about manners along the way!.
Price: $0.45 [Notify me when price goes down.]


The Comfort Table
Nothing is more comforting than a home-cooked meal. And the best home cooking starts with fresh ingredients found close to home with foods that are local, seasonal, and organic. Raised in her grandmother's Southern kitchen, Katie Lee Joel comes from a "family of great cooks and big eaters." And she knows exactly what appeals to the home cook: recipes that are delicious, easy to follow, quick to prepare, and made with readily available seasonal ingredients.

In The Comfort Table, Katie dips into her archive of family recipes and updates all the classics from her childhood growing up in West Virginia, and also creates some inventive new favorites. This mouthwatering assortment of more than 125 recipes includes Southern staples like Fried Green Tomatoes, Chicken and Dumplings, Peach Cobbler, Meatloaf, and the quintessential Pulled Pork BBQ, which stand alongside contemporary classics like Roasted Carrot and Ginger Soup, Citrus-Tarragon Mahi-Mahi, and Dijon and Pistachio-Crusted Rack of Lamb.

But The Comfort Table is about more than just good old-fashioned home cooking. It's about sharing delicious, healthful meals -- made with love -- for friends and family. Katie's rich assortment of recipes for starters, salads, soups, entrees, side dishes, breads, breakfast, desserts, and drinks, is accompanied by entertaining tips and anecdotes to delight the modern foodie. The Comfort Table is a comprehensive, unpretentious, refreshingly accessible guide to creating unforgettable meals for occasions big and small..
Price: $6.87 [Notify me when price goes down.]



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